African Parenting 101🤕

“It was an awesome movie” Ejiro said as he held my hands. Ok, Ejiro is well a very good friend that just might be a prospective boyfriend material but wooh trust me story for another day. We were just coming back from the cinemas… we finished our exams the day before and decided to just goan relax uno. Amaka was supposed to go with us but trust madam to always Sly at the last minute 🙄

“Yh it was did you see the way that guy kicked the… ” I started but was interrupted by my annoying ringtone. It was my mum. Mum? Why was she calling me? Like we had talked three times today. “Hello MA, Good evening ” I picked the phone and said into the receiver. “Good evening dear, how are you? …where are you” she asked “I’m fine MA,  I am on my way to my hostel” I answered “What?  By this time? ” “mum, I went to see a movie with a friend please the road is crowded call me back in like 10-30 minutes” “You must be silly” she said and cut the call. 

The first thing I did was to check the time… It was after 8 please what is late in after 8 egbami is it because they rhyme. “Is there a problem? ” Ejiro asked “No, not… ” I attempted to answer but before I could my phone rang this time it was my dad “Ngozi where did you say you are?” he did not even wait for greeting. “on my way back to my hostel ” I replied. “where did to go?” “To the movies ” “with a guy or a lady” “a guy ” ***mistake number 1*** “Ngozi ehhh so you have started going out with guys in the night?, first thing tomorrow morning I must see you home. Shebi you have finished exam… Silly girl you think I send you to school to waste away… ” he continued and continued till he was satisfied and cut the call. 

I was so pained and my mood was spoilt. My parents were always exaggerating things. I just went to see a movie with a friend that’s all. Irony of life. When I was being a slut they never caught me ooo now that I’m a born again they are now exaggerating up and down. I went over to my sister’s hostel when I got to school to tell her about it and it turned out to be that they already called her and their anger had root. They found messages from Hassel on my former phone which my mom is now using. “But I told you to delete them all before giving Mom” I yelled at my sister “ehn i deleted the very bad ones and left the cute ones incase I needed them” she looked at her feet.  ***mistake number 2 – trusting my naive sister. 

I did not need a prophet to tell me I was dead but as I went home, I wondered why our parents overreacted and even asked friends and the answer I was getting was “that’s how African parents are” the question is why? Why are they not approachable? Why won’t they make it easy for us to confide in them?  Why is it so hard? Sometimes their reactions to things are funny but sometimes too they are actually costly. If my mum was approachable and easy to talk to, she would have known about Hassel and she would have helped me out. But no it is a taboo to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or even talk to them about it. The very thing they are trying to prevent, happens before their own eyes all the time and they are always the last to know. Maybe that’s how they know how to love but can this generation like try to break the jinx…this whole “Africa Parents Mentality” and just bond with our children, trust them, make out time for them, not controlling their every move up till occupation but give allowances for them to make their own mistakes so they can learn. We laugh about it all the time but sometimes it’s actually costly and those tales we don’t hear.

I arrived home early. Got shouted at, accused of a lot of stuffs even stuffs i did not have guts to do as a bad girl. I was grounded and my phone was seized even my friends were not allowed to see me. Especially Amaka. But a letter got to me through my sister from Amaka and in it was written “Ngozi, I have cancer”.

… And by his Grace we have completed the three posts as promised. God bless you for reading… God bless you and bless you… Please let me know what you think. Till next Friday, I remain Proudmgbeke that loves vanilla ice-cream 🖤

God or You? 🙇

You ever heard ‘like a thief in the night’? That’s how exams fell upon me. It was like a bad joke. I had not read shingbai. I was using my strike to plan for Emeka. As soon as I and Amaka got back to school, we started doing all night reading for the exams that we were told would hold in two weeks time. 

A day to the exams, rumour had it that timetable had been changed😭😭 and my toughest course was now my first. I felt life was over for me. People were panicking and everyone was just jumping up and down. School life honestly i think is one of the easiest way to die. No kidding. But, thankfully that rumour was not true so we jejely continued our jacking. 

On the day of our first paper, I and Amaka got ready and left by 7:30am for a 9am paper so we would write on time and go and read for the other paper. It was paper and pencil based exam theory to be specific. Now it was against our policy to cheat during exams. When Amaka led me to Christ, she changed a lot. But the fact that we didn’t play does not mean we don’t know the players. 

As we were entering the exam hall after an hour of standing on a suffocating queue we started hearing rumours of what would come out. Quickly, some of our friends dashed out of the line to get chips. But, you know that moment when you just pray the rumours are false because you have not touched that aspect of your note, that’s how i felt at that point. “it’s a lie jooor” Amaka said “shebi that’s how they said timetable has been changed “she continued. “You are correct o” that’s me oo ginger and confidence began to enter. “Fake rumours everywhere ” I complained bitterly. 

Dear readers if you think shock is when your hands are wet and you come in contact with electricity, you are so wrong. Shock is the spirit that came upon me when I saw my exam paper. Four theory questions answer all….all of them as rumoured from the topic I did not read. I started laughing because laughter Was The only thing that could stop me from going berserk at that point😭😭. My coursemates were now calling me scholar to aggravate the whole situation 🤧🤧

In my humility, I quickly looked around for the guys that brought in chips but Amaka knew what I was up to and made it a point of duty to make it impossible for me to reach them. Eventually I got tired of trying, wrote the little I knew, submitted and walked out. When she came out, I was so mad at her. “I have failed this paper and it is all because of you!” I yelled “what did you think you were do always forming holier than thou! You… ” I ranted on and she just looked at me. 

When I was done she gave me the shortest most reasonable answer and I was immediately sobered. “NgoziChukwuka Anozie” she said, “everyone in life fails at a point in time, so it doesn’t really matter. What matters is who you failed yourself or God” she completed and walked out. Then, she came back and said “when you fail yourself, you can recover anytime, but when you fail God, well you know better” then she walked away finally. My face changed and all my anger melted. 

Maybe I would fail the course… Maybe I won’t, what does it matter? I actually didn’t read enough… I masterminded my misfortune.  But what if I had cheated and I was who a younger Christian was looking up to to hold firm, what if there trumpet had sounded OK that’s even too far. What if I was caught and penalized? How would I live with it? How would my parents feel? And the people I mentor? And the ones I envagelized to? What if the expos were even wrong?.  There are so many what ifs!  and at the end the good grades would not have really mattered if I had failed God. 

So I leave you with this who would you rather fail? You or God? 

I looooooove yooooooooooou thanks for taking out time to read! It means a lot. I pray God bless you real good and guide you and give you Grace not to fail HIM. Enjoy your weekend and please lemme know what you think. 

XoXo

Proud Mgbeke🙋🙋. 

Yh yh, I know I said the name existed because of my poor dress sense. Well, the Mgbeke part of it came from my dress sense but then, there is the ‘proud’ part… A totally different and detailed part that no one really got to know about. 

The break between my WAEC and my admission was so very long. Like I was literally jobless. I had so much time on my hand and well I gave myself away to movies and more movies…lemme be specific romance movies. You know, the types where the girl is always falling down,the guy is always catching… breeze is always blowing and the girl’s hair is always flying and even more unrealism. Little did I know with or without your permission, you eventually become what you watch. 

Gradually my life focus began to shift. I just wanted my own knight in shining armor. Handsome of courseeeee or please have you ever seen any ugly lead actor?. I entered Uni with village life deeply rooted in me and fully reflecting in all i do especially my dressing. I was laughed at in my class and one day, one of my lecturers called me Mgbeke and the whole class adopted it. It was too bad… Twas’nt how I expected my University life to be especially after I had pestered my parents to give me all their saving so I could go shopping for clothes.

It was during this period I met Clara and Co. Now let me explain Clara Was The leader of the clique and the identity of the rest actually did not matter because they had lost their identity and had just become Clara copycats. I helped Clara in a test and she decided to ‘honour’ me by asking my to join her group which I happily did and that was the biggest mistake of my life. 

Soon, everything about me changed. I started lying to my poor parents to get money for clothes, bags and so many irrelevant things like wine and partying🤦. I started partying like a fool forgetting not only my root but also my Christian background. It was during one of my grooves that I met Hassel. Hasssel looked like a lazy Sunday Morning wrapped up in ice-cream yes he looked that good. We clicked off instantly ahmean he was everything. 

In the eyes of the world, he was the perfect boyfriend I was so lucky. But in the confines of his room, he was a panelbeater he beats me up every single time after sleeping with me like a toy and then he comes back the next day with gifts to say sorry. I had scars I never had even as a stubborn kid who was flogged everyday or almost everyday. I still had to cook for him ooo with the money i got from my parents oo. My poor parents. 

My life was a mess but, I refused to walk away. I thought I was having the best i deserved. I thought because he slept with me and said sweet words then it must be love. My head so messed up by the things i watched and the people around me. For months I suffered in silence and was doing couple goals for the public. It was at this point I met Amaka and she led me to Christ. I was a born Christian but I had never been educated or exposed to God’s love the way Amaka showed me. 

Slowly…very slowly I got out of the snare I put myself into just because I didn’t want to be called an Mgbeke anymore. I was addressed as a Slay Queen when I was still with Clara but I have never felt as empty and worthless as I felt then. I got to understand so many things. You are not the what someone woke up one morning and decided to call you. 

-The clothes you wear and the things you have never I repeat never make up the man you are. Like never if not, the richest people would be the nicest people on earth and only the rich would make heaven.

-Love and disrespect or violence never goes together. Love is not sex and pain and pleasure do not necessarily go together.

After dropping my high fake lifestyle, Clara reinitiated the Mgbeke name and everyone followed but I tell you I have never been so proud of anything than I was of that name at that point.  If being an Mgbeke meant knowing Christ, not being a sex toy and a punching bag for some guy, being decent, being reasonable, being resistant to bullshit, then, I am a PROUD MGBEKE. Like a very PROUD MGBEKE. 

heeeeeeeeeey I hope you really enjoyed this one too please let me know what you think and don’t forget that Jesus loves you🖤❤ or that you… Whoever you are or whatever you have done or been through can only be loved one way… The right way. 

The Face Behind The Mask🙃

“There is a thin line between love and hate you know” said Amaka as she neatly folded another cloth. I rolled my eyes at her and stoned her with a pillow. She came to my place to help me pack for school (school that we know I’m not going back to anytime soon😂). “I can never love Emeka and you know it… With his body that looks like chewing stick and his head like spoilt pineapple ” I replied and we burst into laughter.
“But really, Emeka has not always been like this… We went to primary school together and he was just well behaved…a perfect gentleman ” Amaka said.
“Really since Primary school Amaka… ” we laughed again and kept on gisting till she left some hours after.

The next day I went to market(again) and what I saw shocked me… I saw Emeka almost close to tears begging a certain man in a black car. I was lost. The man shut his door against him and drove off and Emeka threw himself on the mud and cried. I have never seen him so broken. He is usually this tough guy. He stood up and dusted himself and left.

Call me amebo if you like but I followed him… I waited for us to get to that lonely path before making myself noticeable. We were alone on that path. He smirked when he saw me “wall of Jericho” he said and I studied his face and he looked indifferent like he was the one I just saw so broken few minutes ago… I almost just walked away but something in me pushed.. I just needed to understand what just happened.
“On a normal day that would have offended me but not after what I just saw that happened in the market place…” I said and his face changed immediately.
“uno the world would be better if everyone learned to mind their business ” he sounded offended and it annoyed me. I was showing concern why the attack… I quickly attacked back “uno I was only showing concern but what did I expect from a person like you” and I walked away even after seeing the pained expression on his face.
“A person like me… A person like me what do you even know about me” he called at me with so much emotions in his voice that made me stop in my tracks. “everyone just comes at me like they know me. No one knows that I was abandoned by my mom after my dad died… No one knows I survived on the streets on my own till my aunty found me and agreed to train me. No one knows that all this tough guy is a facade to hide my pains. No one knows ” he continued so pained and walked up to me.
“no one knows because no one cares… y’all just want to conclude on what you feel…no one is getting facts about any one any more…like life is not hard enough I have to deal with all the judgemental stare and yarns” he hissed and walked away.

I didn’t get to know what happened exactly at the market place or who that man was. After that day, whenever I and Emeka run into each other we act like that day didn’t happen but it did happen and that incident made me realize a lot. I judged Emeka by the pieces of him that I saw and even hated him without knowing his struggles or pains or what he had gone through. Yes maybe he messes up occasionally ahmean he wanted to ruin my sister but he was who experience made him and if instead of judging him, we had gotten to know him maybe just maybe he wouldn’t have to do all that to be happy… Maybe he would just have found happiness in us.

P. S

Assumptions has never helped anyone… There is still this act called asking you know. Sitting down there and just concluding on who a person is by what you think you understand or what people say is bull crap and we past that age you know.

I hope you enjoyed this one also please let me know what you think… I… I… I love y’all😭😭😜

Wall Of Jericho🤧

So it has been weeks and we are still on strike. I have been seriously contemplating looking for work or going to learn work. I don’t know which one to do and my parents are always shouting ‘read your books’and then we all know there is no ginger to read (in other words, I have not been reading shingbai).

Since I have not been reading, my parents have decided to bombard me with house chores. Today go to the market, tomorrow go to the market… Next tomorrow,market one would nearly mistake me for a market seller. If it is not market I am being sent to up and down, it is stream or one of the farms as if to say no matter my education, I’m still a villager at heart🤦.

Ever since I and Emeka’s incident, the both of us have been sworn enemies… It was obvious he wanted to revenge for the humiliation (as if we were not in it together) but, I warned him that if he should try anything funny, his almost naked video every group chat in UNN would receive (his boxers was even dirty and undersized). As a supposed big boy who knew I was not bluffing, he swore not to disturb me further but that didn’t make us friends… We were always insulting each other anytime our paths crossed but it never affected me Until one day.

I was going to deliver a message at a neighbor’s place o when I ran into Emeka’s friends he was not even there. They were just by the roadside calling out to any female that passed. The lady in front of me was set. She had it all in right proportion… The hips, the boob’s and the butt. When she passed she was hailed🙄 cat calls and all ‘Ada’, ‘Omalicha’, ‘Ukwulina ‘, ‘Nwanyimarama’. Then I passed 😭😭😭😭. I passed o😭 and then they started hissing and one if them called me wall of Jericho. At first I didn’t get the joke until they started singing ‘the wall of Jericho fell down FLAT… ‘ the pain in my heart 😭…it entered. O wole paaa. Wall of Jericho but why? It really entered because I knew it was true I was pained to my bone marrow.

I determined to do something about my state. That’s how I went home oo without consulting anyone including Amaka my best friend. I went home and said I would do 100squats per day starting from the evening. My sister warned me that 100 was excessive but I was too pained to hear word. I started and she watched me… I did up to 30(mind you, I did not do warm-ups o) …i was already weak too weak but because my sister was looking to say I told you so, I continued. It was when I was reaching 40, I heard that ASUU strike has been called off. In my shock, I lost balance and fell and hit my head. The last thing i remembered hearing before totally losing consciousness was my sister’s high pitched ‘I told you so! ‘… and when I was revived, Amaka had plenty of talk for me *groans.

P. S: To fellow walls of Jericho like me. Please do not kill yourself. If no body is in love with the same of you, you be in love with the shape of your-self. Is it not ordinary love biko. It is good to keep fit but don’t overdo it… If not you would just die and plenty shapeless people would come to your burial and you would feel insulted.

Thank you… I love you please leave your comments…xoxo.

Vengeance gone wrong🤧🤕

I was so pissed with what Emeka and his friends did. I felt they made a fool of me and they shouldn’t just go free. All I thought of from that moment was revenge so I met with my partner in crime my best friend and gossip partner Amaka and we plotted a good one.
Now, Amaka was a slayer unlike me. So fine and well you could call her someone that knew how to play her cards She was flirty you know all these all mouth no action flirts. So this was the plan…Amaka would get Emeka to visit her at a particular time when her parents won’t be around then seduce him and I would coincidentally stroll in with my sister(to prove to her Emeka is worthless)…my sister would catch them together and vex and run away you know that dramatic running away and I and Amaka would now balance and deal with Emeka. Perfect plan abi but you know when Devil has decided to ruin your life he would always find a way.

On the appointed day, plan was going well… We got Emeka to the house… Got my sister there at the right time before Emeka could lynch Amaka (the monkey even undressed to his boxers😂😂), my sister did the dramatic exit… She was pained but at least she knew what kind of guy Emeka was and I would console her later. Just when we thought nothing could go wrong… Amaka’s dad returned he forgot his phone at home and met us at the scene of the crime his bedroom 🙆.

He did not even wait for us to explain baba jumped to the conclusion that something else was going on because Emeka was still undressed and Amaka was not properly dressed. He blew hot and cold and chased us out with his hunting gun.  The highlight was when he seized Emeka’s clothes despite our condition we could not help but laugh and video as Emeka ran ahead of us hands on his uno almost naked.

Amaka had to come and stay at my place where she met the anger of my boiling sister. As if that was not enough, when Amaka’s dad found out we had both gone to my place…he came to cast both of us. My dad sent Amaka back home where her father was waiting with cane while he himself lashed me seriously without even hearing what actually happened… Even when I eventually got a chance to narrate what truly happened he concluded I made it up and continued lashing me.
I didn’t even get my revenge fully (I had a video of half-naked Emeka running but who e epp🤧🤧) and the price I paid for my attempt was too high it wasn’t worth it at all abet because days later my sister was still not talking to I or Amaka, I still felt the pain of the lashes and Emeka already found another young girl to prey on…na me still lose last last. 🤦🤦

I really hope you enjoyed this one also🤗 please let me know what you think…

P. S

Vengeance is for God😂😎

 

Set up to set P .

Still on the strike palava. I and my younger sister, (remember I have two sisters…one elder sister who eloped with an Old Alhaji and a younger sister) were the first to come home since the strike. My sister is in year one by the way.  Subsequently other university students started returning.  Out of this returnees was Emeka. Now Emeka has been after my sister for years and is my age mate.  My sister obviously likes him too you know all this naive kind of first love but I have just been spoiling his parole… (trust my bad mouth na).

So, this fateful morning, I went alone to the market to buy foodstuffs as my sister was too busy to accompany me.  I passed a very popular short cut which was quite bushy in short very bushy and lonely. Just as I got to the middle of the path o, masked guys jumped out of the bushes around and surrounded me. At first, I didn’t even realize I was surrounded. I was trying to form Margret Thacher… running my mouth like tap until one uncle gave me slap from the back. I thought it was funny till I started seeing 🌟 🌟.  They forced me to knee down and threatened to beat fat out of my already slim body if I don’t cooperate surrender all my money and take off my clothes. Just then Emeka and his friends showfaced about ten in number and the guys took off and the sight of them. Emeka and two other guys ran after them uno just to make sure they don’t stop running.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Emeka helped me up, cleaned me up with his white handkerchief and offered to walk me to the end of the path. I felt really bad for spoiling his parole and in my mind O I just kept on saying “my sister needs this kind of guy”

We got to the end of the path and I feigned ignorance and threw a nonchallant thank you his way and he left. But as I walked on, something kept on nudging me to go back and say thank you very well. Only for me to go back and see the so called masked men with Emeka and his friends rejoicing. At first I was lost until one of them specifically the one that slapped me said “Emeka but if this plan work ehn and you get that girl sister na all of us go do am oo ” another one commented “Why e no go work the girl go dey think by now say this Emeka na hero eziokwu she go like and respect you die… Her permission to do her sistilo you have gotten! na all of us get o” they all laughed what even angered me the most was what Emeka said “Sure na…na use and dump levels na that girl too innocent. But omo that your slap real die”. I was so angrrrrry what was on my mind was to walk up to them and just finish all of them you know just kill them all but I was subtly reminded that I am not super girl so I went back slowly humming aje ku iya… You know the rest of the song🤧. The ram that runs with the back is returning with full force.

P. S

My revenge is in motion. It’s me that took agbara (hot early morning slap) they would not even know what hit them.

I hope you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to leave your comments🤗🤗🤗

In A Pool Of Our Words.

So my school is on strike again. Oh I never mentioned I’m a 200L Accounting student.  So as I was saying, since my school is striking I decided to respect myself and go home to learn a trade because we all know that ASUU strike ehn is usually long enough for someone to find husband, marry and even have children.
So, on this fateful morning at home, cries went up in the house of one of our neighbors Mazi Ude. He had just one daughter left and his wife was late. We all rushed to his compound only to meet people already there mourning. We inquired and discovered that his daughter had committed suicide. _
“My own daughter! In a pool of her own blood ‘ he cried. ‘go in, go and see her’ he pushed us towards the entrance. I shivered not because of what I saw but, because of what I knew. Margret or Maggie as fondly called was a very beautiful girl and a smart one too. She was the first female to gain admission into the University in my village. She was studying Mathematics and topping her class. Every mother compared their daughters to her. In her final year, she came home pregnant claiming to be raped.
See, we knew she was saying the truth because we all knew Maggie was decent to a fault but, we were just to happy to find a fault in the ‘very perfect Maggie ‘. We mocked her at every opportunity we had. We gossiped about her like our lives depended on it…we taunted her as she walked along the streets… Ignored the little drop of tears that fell from her eyes as we mocked on. We didn’t even pause to think about the fact that she had her own battles, that she had a ruined education to savage, that she had a lonely old man at home to make proud, that she could have aborted if she liked, that her decision to keep a bastard was right.
We forgot that God made us to be there for each other… to support, to be less judgemental ,to be the salt of the earth… to make situations better. Now she has taken her life but I know just like every single person there that she was not lying in a pool of her own blood because her blood was on our heads but, she was lying dead_ in the pool of our hurtful words.
Don’t forget to leave your comments 🖤🖤🖤 I love to hear what you think… Your experiences if you have any.
P. s
Be nice… even if you can’t be with your actions, be with your words. Have a lovely day!

First blog post

Heeeey….

Attention!

OK, so I finally decided to open a blog sha sha. I’ve been postponing this since I knew what a blog was (that’s like years ago) I have been arrested sha so with so much joy in my heart and a smirk on my face I present my first post.

Why the name proudmgbeke? What is this blog about sef? Chill let me explain. My name is Ngozi and I’m a drama queen (the world knows this) I was born into a family of two girls. My father a poor farmer and my mother well, a petty trader. I have not had the best of dress sense (since birth) hence the name Mgbeke. But, overtime I realized it didn’t exactly matter. This blog is to share my experiences and views and thoughts in the way I know best. Where I know no one can beat me for saying my mind. Kindly join my train…enjoy😀😀