To the ones we loved but lost 😧

Plenty thoughts rushed through my head and I suddenly felt hot. Could she be serious? Is this a joke?  Or just a prank to get me out of the house? Cancer kills right? I love this girl but honestly she pisses me off. Why would she joke with cancer? I looked at the paper again. “Ngozi, I have Cancer ”   it read simply. I studied the hand writing. It was hers and, it wasn’t written in a haste. 

“Who gave you this?” I yelled at my sister. “Amaka’s mum…she said Amaka wanted this to get to you” she replied and that was all I needed. I wore something presentable and went out of the house through the back and jumped the half fence. I went out with no-one’s permission. I didn’t care actually. I raced all the way to Amaka’s home. 

“Your friend is in her room” her mom responded when I greeted without looking up. Now I was tensed. Breathing fast, I made it to her room and I met the calmest Amaka I have ever seen lying on her bed, her eyes closed and her lips moving. Praying. Hmmmmm well this God had better hear. She opened her eyes and the sober look in her eyes was replaced with flames. Yep her hyperactivity was back. 

“Errrh… I… ” I started but she interrupted “All hail the Micheal Scofield of our time! The one and only prison breaker” she laughed as she clapped. “Amaka really, you think I took this risk you hear all that?” I asked. “What do you want to hear, I’m dying in a month’s time please give me a treat” she laughed more and I got angry and started walking out. “Ngozi… ” she called out to me and I stopped in my tracks. “I really do have cancer” she said and I broke down in tears. 

“Please tell me it can be savaged…please Amaka please “…I pled. “It can’t, it’s leukemia and well the bad type…sadly” she answered and I went over to her bed and threw myself on her and the tears she boldly tried to hold back in slipped out drop by drop. “How long have you known? ” I asked. “For a while now” she answered looking away. “How long? ” I repeated. “Five years ago” she answered and before I could get out of my shock and gather a response she said “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted you to love me because you do not because I’m a charity case. I really wanted to tell you long ago but you loved me like I was part of you and I couldn’t bear to see the pain in your eyes… ” “why are you telling me now? ” I asked “because, they said I have just two months to live and I’m not sure I would survive ”

My world world crashed in a split second. I felt a weight in my heart. Amaka was all I had. All. “God why!!! ” I cried from the depths of my pain. “I asked him that question too five years ago. Then I didn’t even know him personally but I still felt I didn’t deserve a death sentence. I revolted.  I did stuffs I look back and I’m so not proud of now. But, one day, I ran into this woman who has gone through a great deal of tragedy. For two hours straight, she took me through the story of Job and Jesus’s suffering on the cross. Jesus was God’s own son yet he died in His prime and a very painful death and for the sins of others… You and I. Like what could be worse than sacrificing yourself for the redemption of people that would hate you and reject you. When she was done. I was in tears. That was the day I gave my life to Christ. If God saves me eventually Hallelujah! If he doesn’t oh Glory. I would dance on the streets of Gold. Besides I would finally get to see those handsome angels” she finished and pulled me into a long embrace as she whispered into my ears. “it is those he loves, he calls home early… You would see me again “

Exactly three months, two weeks, a day, 12 hours, 6 minutes, 30 seconds after,  Amaka passed away.

In memory of those we loved but lost… 

Dedicated to Uncle Law, Tola’s loss, Koya ‘s Abigail, Tochi ‘s mum, Femi’s dad and every single one that has lost someone dear 🤧.

Don’t forget to drop comments or share experiences. I love You. 

4 thoughts on “To the ones we loved but lost 😧

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