That Place

David's Corner

Have you ever been in that place where you really, sincerely, honestly desire something, but you can’t put your finger on what exactly that is?

Some days ago I started a YouVersion plan – “Stop trying, start trusting” … by the way, YouVersion is an AMAZING app! May God bless the whole team behind that. I’m not even done yet with this plan, but I have to talk about it or at least, the reason behind my choosing it.

Recently, I’ve been feeling soo… “Down” (for lack of a better word). It’s like I’m not doing things right and don’t know how to. In fact, let me describe this:
– I plan to pray and doze off at those times or don’t even feel like it
– I wake up early (actually I’m awoken by the Holy Spirit), but feel so guilty for dozing off earlier that I…

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A way of escape.

The knocking on my door woke me up and as I awoke, I was terrified. Who was it? was it time to lead me like a lamb led to slaughter to my sister’s “customers”? I wrapped my the blanket round me and went closer to the door. “Who is it?” I asked. “Open up, I can’t be seen here” came the reply. I hesitated for a second then, I opened the door. It was a lady I have never seen before, she seemed like my agemate and was so, so beautiful. She came in and looked around briefly then finally looked me in my eye. “You look like your sister” she said with a sad smile and my heart started to beat fast. What if she has come to do me harm?

“At first, I didn’t believe when they said Madam’s sister was here but then I overhead the conversation you had with her earlier and I was just…amused” She said running her fingers tips on my dressing table and then checking them for dirt. My heart beat faster “errhm, please what do you want?” I asked. “My name is not Errhm, my name is Ugo and I’m here to help you escape” she replied and it was as if I wasn’t hearing well. A memory flashed into my mind, a discussion I had with Amaka when I just gave my life to Christ. She was wearing a black top and ash joggers and I was wearing a navy blue gown. We were at our favorite hangout joint and I was telling her of how Hassel has been pestering me with calls and how I was scared that I would go back to my vomit. She held my hands in hers and said “ever heard of a way of escape?” I laughed and replied “a movie?”. She laughed a bit and shook her head. She freed my hand, picked her phone, opened something and gave me to read. I took her phone and read aloud “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it _ 1 Corinthians 10; 13″. I immediately sobered and looked at her. She held my hands again and said ” Ngo, there would always be a way of escape, always. God who has called us is faithful enough to keep us in him” “Always?” I asked with un-certainty lacing my words and to this she re-affirmed “Always”.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it._1 Corinthians 10 ; 13.

“Madam, are you still with me?” Ugo snapped her fingers. “Ehn, of course I am and I am elated. I am just wondering why you would do this for me? I mean you don’t know me and you might get into serious trouble for this” “I won’t get into trouble except we are caught and…” she looked at me and sighed. “Fine, my sister was the one that brought me here too. She told me she was taking me to see a friend that would help me with a job and, I found myself here. I couldn’t leave. I was abused day and night till I lost my mind and conscience. When I saw you, the look of pain in your eyes… I felt a tug in my heart and I couldn’t sleep till I finally came up with a plan” “there are other girls like you? no-one can leave? how are we going to…?” “See, I know you have questions but I don’t have the time. We don’t have the time. Do you have a place to go where your sister wouldn’t find you?” I looked at my bed and saw Mrs Chikamso’s card “Yes, yes, I do”

“Good, now listen to me, there would be a party tonight. A lot of people would be here. It would be a little bit rowdy, the new girls are locked in till later in the night while the old ones like me would go out to welcome our guest. When time is near, I would come here to disguise you as me and bribe the guy in charge all you have to do is flirt a little, smile, keep your head down and engage with no-one familiar till you get out of the gate and when you get out of the gate, run like you have never ran before and never look back. Avoid your sister and the friends that were with her earlier.” She pulled the veil covering just part of her hair to cover all her hair, walked towards the door, turned the knob partially and gave me one last look “I would do my part well but if you ever get caught, I was never here”. “Ugo, please wait” I cried “You just wait and pray. Pray hard” “how would I know it is you when you come?” “I would knock like I knocked before, be alert” she turned the knob fully and then she was gone.

Heeyyy, you good? If you have been following Ngozi’s story, I would love to know what you think? Have you ever been in a tight fix before and God came through for you? I would also love to hear or read your experiences. You could also email me @chigoziepaul@gmail.com. Have a lovely weekend, you are loved.

Bought with a price.

“How did you know Amaka?” I asked. I was so uneasy. The woman looked into my eyes and answered , “my name is Mrs Chikamso. I was the one that led Amaka to Christ”. I laughed a little, “the one with the really sad life?”, she laughed with me ” well, if you want to put it like that, yh” we laughed a little more and we both fell silent, uncomfortably too. “I…” “I…” “You can go first”, she said I laughed again, nervously this time, “you go first, I really don’t have anything to say, I just wanted to break the silence”. She sighed “Okay, your sister is really into sex trafficking. Every week, she buys condoms from me in bulk, I think it’s primarily to spite me and rub it into my face that I can’t do anything” “but, can’t you?” “well, I tried calling the police on her at some point but apparently, some of them were her loyal customers and she had them on her side. Also, she pays her girls handsomely and treat them very well so, some of them are there on their own accord. In fact, according to my research, she only collects a certain percentage and they are allowed to have their own private runs outside the house. So, the only time the police paid heed to me and finally decided to investigate, her and her girls denied and I just felt like a fool”

“Why do you still sell to her though?” I asked ” I mean, you know she patronizes you to spite you, you also know what she stands for, why do you still sell to her”. She shifted her feet and moved her weight to her right leg, she was beginning to get tired, I could sense it ” because, if I don’t. someone else will but, if I do, I get to try to dissuade the new girls” “any success so far?” “no, but I am trusting God to give you to me” “me?” I scoffed “Amaka might have been a saint but I am not” “and why would you say so?” “I have a terrible past”. She smiled slightly “don’t we all?” “no, you don’t get, you don’t understand” I lowered my gaze. I wanted to explain but I could not, it was too shameful, too…disgraceful. The last time I heard of Hassel, he was a drug addict and had gone to jail for 6 months. How could I… I was too ashamed. She pulled at my right arm gently, till I unfolded it. I didn’t even know when I folded my arms. “Ngozi,” she said, “I understand all I need to understand about you. It doesn’t matter what you did, what any of us have done, we’ve been redeemed by the blood of Jesus. We’ve been bought at a price far above gold and diamond. We are in Christ now, old things have passed away and all things are new”

“That was what Amaka said and I believed her, I swear to you, I believe with all my hear but when my sister brought up my past when I confronted her, all of my doubts began to creep in, the guilt, everything” my eyes became moist. Mr X phone began to ring, I knew it was my sister and the tears that gathered in my eyes began to pour. She knew it was time to go too and her eyes were so sad. I could hear faintly what Mr. X said as he picked his call and I could see him approach us from the corner of my left eye. She quickly pulled me in a hug and said “God is not angry with you I promise, this guilt is not from him, Guilt can never be from him”

“God is not angry with you I promise… Guilt can never be from him”

Soon, Mr.X caught up with us “Madam don dey talk” he complained. She apologized to him, pulled me in another hug and said goodbye. When she got into her car, she waved again and entered it although, she did not start it. I stared hard for a while and had just started to walk back to the house with my aide when she horned and came running towards me with a card. “This is my number, call, message me anytime and I would be in touch”. I turned the car over in my palm, and at the back of the card, was an hastily inscribed message. “Remember, no guilt in Christ. Read Roman 8 for proof” I tucked the card safely in my pocket and met her eyes, she smiled again and walked back to her car this time, she started it and drove off.

When we got back to the house, my sister was not in sight neither were her friends. I made way quietly to my room and locked the door. I brought out the card from where I kept it and began to look at it. She was into Events planning too, I smiled such a pleasant woman, no wonder Amaka loved her. I turned the card over gently and her inscribed message smiled back at me. I went to my bag, searched for my bible and opened it. The first verse of Romans 8 threw me off balance ” For there is henceforth, now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” it was as if God was directly talking to me. It didn’t say, “there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus except, you are a fornicator sha…” it said, “no condemnation in Christ Jesus” and there was a full stop there as in end of discussion. I didn’t know when I started crying and praying, it had been so long since I prayed with my heart because, after Amaka died, it felt like God was no longer listening but, as I did now, I felt so relieved. I didn’t know when I fell asleep too, I just remember waking up to someone knocking at my door.

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.

“So, condoms?” I said throwing the package on the center table. My sister was with her “friends” smoking. Oh God, I didn’t even know she smoked. They looked at her and she looked at them and then, signaled to them to excuse us and they did. “I see some tongues have refused to stop wagging,” she said hitting the butt of her cigar on the ashtray. “Does it matter? Did the tongues wag correctly?” I said raising my voice. My sister looked at me quickly and looked around her as if searching for who I was addressing and in a voice that was dangerously calm she asked “Na me you dey follow talk like that?” I froze. Her “accent” was gone and staring into her eyes, I couldn’t recognize who was sitting in front of me. She asked again “Ngozi, I say na me you dey follow talk like that?” I tried to speak but she hushed me. “You think say I no know? All the things wey you been follow all these small small boys do? Nkiru tell me now, she tell me. You come dey form Mary Amaka for here”. My legs shook truly, who was I deceiving? She took a long drag of her cigar, looked at me and hissed as she walked out.

I sat down and tears rolled down my eyes once again. Memories rushed into my head, memories that I have pushed out for so long and worthlessness washed over me again. I remembered it all. I remembered how Hassel turned me to something else, how I would cook, wash and sleep with him and he would still cheat on me and give me scars. I stole from my poor parents for that boy, I failed courses, missed exams, I did everything for that boy and yet. Guilt that I have not known since Amaka told me, “you are in Christ now, you are a new creature, it’s all over, you are forgiven”, lured me into a dance. I felt choked up. Was I really forgiven? am I truly a new creature or the same old Ngozi that was kept in check by Amaka like a dog on a leash. I remembered the last examination we wrote and how I desperately wanted to cheat, I remembered all the nights I watched videos I shouldn’t be watching and did things that…, I remembered all the things I have done that I was not proud of. Did I really change? and if I should decide to leave, would she let me? if she did, where would I go? back home to Papa and Mama and the debts that hung on our necks. I was torn between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Guilt that I have not known since Amaka told me, “you are in Christ now, you are a new creature, it’s all over, you are forgiven” lured me into a dance. I felt choked up. Was I really forgiven? am I truly a new creature or the same old Ngozi that was kept in check by Amaka like a dog on a leash. I remembered the last examination we wrote and how I desperately wanted to cheat, I remembered all the nights I watched videos I shouldn’t be watching, I remembered all the things I have done that I was not proud of. Did I really change?

The room felt so suffocating, I need fresh air, I needed to clear my head, to think, to breathe. I looked around the house for Ada and told her I was going for a walk. She didn’t even honor me with a look, she just asked one of her boys to go with me since I was new here, let’s call him Mr. X. I said I would be fine without him but of course she ignored me. As I stepped out of the gate, I had not walked up to ten steps when a car driving towards me, slowed down and the car glass was whined down. I slowed down too, it was the familiar woman from the store. I rolled my eyes and resumed my walk but then, she called my name “Ngozi”. In shock, I spun around so fast I nearly tripped Mr.X tried to steady me but, quickly removed his hands from me when I gave him a stern look. “How did you know my name?” I asked her. She sighed and asked me to come into her car for a minute, Mr.X quickly moved and stood between me and the car. The woman looked at him for a few seconds then came out of her car and pleaded with him to give her a minute with me. He looked resistant at first but, after a while, he sighed and stepped aside. “She no go follow you go anywhere” he stuttered with so much effort. “I promise you” the woman reassured him then pulled me slightly by my arm few feet away from him, looked me in the eye and said “I know Amaka”. The tears flowed out of my eyes like a river, without warning.

Hiiii, I can’t tell you how glad I am that you took out your time to read this post. If you have been following Ngozi’s story, you would have noticed that I went MIA for a very long while. Well, what can I say? life happened and I forgot how important this is to me, how important you are to me. But, I am here now and hopefully here to stay this time around.

Mrs Saviour 😏

“Ma, you actually look familiar to me too but, I think I have heard enough today” I said walking along. 

“it’s alright. I understand. I’m sorry about our prying nature. I promise it won’t repeat itself” she said and turned to go.

“yh thanks ” I threw across my shoulders.

******************

Mrs Dumebi felt a serious nudge in her spirit as she worked. She paused her job and looked up. 

“God, but, I tried to talk to her and you saw her response… What Lord? Try harder? Oh common… Yes Lord” she sighed heavily. “Madam, you have started this your discussion with your imaginary friend🙄” her colleague Tunde said. She smiled “don’t you think i’m rather too old to be accused of having an imaginery friend?” she asked. “haha madam. But ma, sorry to pry but you look worried” “I am worried. I am really worried about that young girl” “ahn, but madam, its not our business na” “don’t ever say that again, “it is not my business, it is not my business” everytime has put the world where it is today” “sorry ma” he said and mumbled under his breathe “mrs saviour” “oh… you can say whatever you like but keep in mind that you work for me, not the other way round and you are highly replaceable” she said, hissed and moved away from her desk it was time for her to take a break. “This employees are just something else” she said to herself and sighed as she sat on a sofa. It was times like this that made her miss Amaka. Amaka the sweet little girl that died of cancer. Ever since she led Amaka to Christ, the young girl made it a point of duty to lead other young girls to Christ. She would just have handed this babe over to her. Sighs. Why did she have to die so soon. She swiped open her phone and went through the pictures Amaka sent her last. She smiled as she saw Amaka’s beautiful and happy smile and kept scrolling till her eye landed on the picture of someone holding hands with Amaka that looked exactly like the girl that just left her shop. In fact, the person in the picture wore the exact top the girl wore when she came by. She gasped. 

Faraway… Faraway. 

“Ngor, Ngor, we are here” my sister woke me up. “where are we? ” I asked lost. “my place at portharcourt” she replied getting down from the car. wait what portharcourt?  Portharcourt how? Cletus got down from the driver’s seat and opened the door for me smiling. Arrrrrgh if he smiles one more time!.

I took a very good look at the house it was so big. “Do you live here alone Ada?” I just had to ask. “No, I live here with four of my friends. We do the same work so we stay together.” Okkkkkk. “what of Alhaji, you know the man you ran away with?” her face changed. It became stony. “we parted ways and you would speak of him no more…have I made myself clear”. “whatever, just show me the way to the kitchen I’m hungry ” “dirty girl won’t you take your bathe?” “abeg dirty no dey kill black man, not now let me eat first” Cletus smiled again. “Ada, one last question is he dumb?” I asked pointing at Cletus. She laughed hard “no, but he speaks only Hausa” oooh that explains a lot. 

That night was beautiful, the bed I slept in was big and comfy but, the next day, something happened. My sister sent me out to get a package from a chemist when I got there and told the man who sent me he looked at me with pitiful eyes and said “are you her latest recruit?” “huh?” I asked “how old are you? ” he asked yet again. “huh?” I asked again. “mind your business” a female voice called from behind him. “why should he? ” another female voice replied her and I had to look at them… The face of one of the women, the latter one to be specific looked so familiar and she held my gaze for like 30 seconds before going back to concentrating on the work before her. What did he mean by latest recruit? What was going on? Hope I’m not carrying drugs in this package sha. Is it drugs? Oh my God cocaine?. I moved back slightly “sir, this is not cocaine is it?” I asked eyes scared. “no dear” “then what is in this package?” he sighed, looked straight into my eyes and said “condoms” “huh” “I know it’s none of my business but, you look so innocent… we all suspect your madam is into sex trafficking and forcing innocent girls to sleep with men… Now… If you don’t already know… I really don’t know what I’m saying and again it might just be mere suspicions but just be careful little one” he stammered and handed the package over to me but,… I couldn’t move. Sex trafficking? That would make a lot of sense… Her weird friends, Cletus, the big house and nice cars, the desperation to have me come live with her but surely she won’t force her younger sister into prostitution right? Or could she?. As I picked the package and walked out through the door, my head was lost in thoughts. I didn’t even hear the woman with the familiar face walk up to me until she tapped me and said. “why does it feel like I know you? “

Blessing In Disguise? 2

It was past the time Papa return home each day but he was no where to be found. Mama was still sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her up. I have finished with the peeling of the cassava tubers long time ago and have even cleared the compound and made dinner. 

“where is Papa? ” my sister asked me. She just returned from the stream where she has been with her friends washing clothes. “On my head” I replied sarcastically and she recoiled. I hated seeing her that way but my mood swings this past days has been crazy. “Mma, I’m sorry” I said to her. “You say that all the time but, never act it” she said and stepped outside. I wanted to follow but I had more serious issues to bother myself with like where Papa was.

“Mama Ngozi!” I heard voices scream. Two distinct unfamiliar voices. I ran out only to see my father being led in by two young men. He was badly injured. I didn’t even realize that I was standing in shock at a point or that Mama was at my back until I heard her scream. “ewooo Chimo. My husband. What is it about today God! “. My little sister went towards the men to assist them and I finally moved my stuck legs and joined. 

“what happened?” mama inquired. “Chief Ernest sent his boys to beat up Mazi.” they replied. Now, Chief Ernest is a rich man my father borrows from all the time. It is known to me that for sometime now, my father has not been able to settle his debts but, did that warrant such beating?. My father started borrowing because, it became really hard to sponsor I and my sister in the University and still feed. My mother took my dad to the room they share and asked me to boil hot water and bring. 

As I approached the room, I heard her talking to my dad. “we cannot continue to suffer like this. Let her go with her sister “. “that child insulted me! her father, no,  Ngozi would not go with her” my daddy replied. “keep being stubborn while we suffer. Don’t you think Ada coming at this exact time is the work of God?, next session would soon start there is no food in the house talkless of money for provision and school fees…” her voice trailed off as I entered and dropped the water. “I would go with Ada” I said and the room became silent. 

After Ada had apologized for her behavior, (an apology that she just gave because she so badly wanted to go back to the city with me and I wonder why🙇), I packed and the next day, we went back to “the city” together. Something just felt wrong about the all these. Ada was just too excited and the Mr Cletus, egbami does he not talk? Why is it that he has just been smiling sheepishly since? How is he a veeeeery good friend? This just feels so wrong, so so so wrong. Is this a blessing in disguise?  A silver lining or a disappointment in a shining foil? 😖

Blessing in Disguise? 

Ever since Amaka was buried, everyone has acting weird around me. Everyone suddenly is nice and very careful. Some even go the extra mile not to mention an igbo name that start with A around me. My family actually makes sure I’m never alone like I would kill myself at the very first opportunity I get. I get you know I’m in pain and want to help but coming at me and saying sorry all the time errrh isn’t exactly helping or telling me you know how I feel Tsk… I hate this one. You don’t know how I feel and I pray you don’t actually. 

This fateful day, I was peeling cassava for my mother something I and Amaka would have done together on a norm. Tears threatened to slip… but no, Amaka doesn’t want to be mourned. “Ngwa hurry up na do you want to sleep there?” mom asked.  “I’m the only one here mom” I said as gently as I could reminding her that Amaka was no longer here to assist me but I regretted it immediately it came out from my mouth because she started saying sorry… So much it annoyed me. Just as I wanted to give her a long speech on how to stop telling me sorry every single time, a jeep stopped just in front of our compound. 

I squinted to see the occupants of the car but, hard as I tried, I couldn’t see them but this jeep looked quite familiar. I was trying to remember where I saw the jeep when the door of the driver’s seat opened and a richly dressed man came out then it clicked. This was the man Emeka was begging in the market place. The other door opened too and oh my world Ada? Ada? My elder sister? Ada that eloped with an Alhaji two years ago? This is not even an Alhaji. What happened to the Alhaji? What happened to her?. She has changed drastically well, in a good way. 

“Chimo! Nwam!” my mother screamed as she ran towards the car. “Mama, how are you?” Ada asked. Was that an English accent I heard? I chuckled for the first time since Amaka died. Ada? English accent kwa? Ada that used to call rice,lice or correction, collection. This same Ada has an English accent in just two years wawu the Lord is mighty. I chuckled again as I walked towards the car. 

“Oh Ngozi” she came forward and hugged me. “I rushed down here as soon as I got the message that your friend died. I’m so sorry about that” she said. Somehow I didn’t believe that. Since she left, we have been through series of hardship all of which Amaka made sure she heard about through her wild girlfriends connections but none of them moved her. Why did Amaka’s death matter?

“I’m really sorry” she went on and on. “Ada come inside” mum offered. “oh I’m not really staying for long” she replied “I just wanted to know if Ngozi would like to move in with me after this incidence” did I hear correctly. “won’t you at least… ” mom started but was interrupted. “Mama but you know I can’t enter this house na, I’m sure cobwebs are everywhere… Moreover, I just arrived. I need to get lodged into an hotel. I would see you tomorrow ” she turned as if she wanted to go then clicked her hands like she just remembered something “…and oh mama, meet Cletus he is a very very good friend” she dragged the very with a silly smirk on her face and made an annoying sound with the gum I didn’t even notice she was chewing.  I took a good look at the Cletus. Pot bellied fat man. Sighs. Old man like this. Ada. The house that raised her… Cobwebs infested.

Mama sighed sadly “Ngwanu let tomorrow come” she said and began to walk back into the house. I took a very long look at Ada before replying. “I am actually not in the mood to give your reply. See how you have changed. Whatever changed you I actually don’t care. Hear the rubbish coming out of your mouth. House that you were raised in Cobweb infested. Well if your offer would make me just like you. I spit on you and your offer” I finished and started walking back. What even annoyed me is the way Cletus or what did she even call him stood there like a mannequin with his stained teeth and fat neck. Mchteeew. “see mumu I’m trying to help oh” she called after me and hurled insults at me as I walked away. I had not gotten back to my abandoned cassava bowl when I heard “let’s go abeg” and the car roared back into life and out of my compound. I really had to go and visit Emeka later. I needed to know who that man was but first, where was mama? 

I ran into the house only to find mama sobbing on her bed and my heart broke. “where did I go wrong?  She kept on asking herself. I just held her because at that moment my words failed. She didn’t deserve to be treated like this. No mother should be treated this way…with disrespect. She might not be the perfect mother figure but, she chose to keep you when she could have aborted you. That is enough reason. She is a mother not an angel… She would definitely have her flaws. But her love makes up for it all. I hugged and rocked her till she fell asleep in my hands. Ada SMH. If she comes back here! I would give her a piece of my mind nothing would make me stoop so low to follow her back to oh wherever she came from or so I thought… 

Thank you for reading! 🖤🖤 you matter please do not forget to let me know what you think. 

To the ones we loved but lost 😧

Plenty thoughts rushed through my head and I suddenly felt hot. Could she be serious? Is this a joke?  Or just a prank to get me out of the house? Cancer kills right? I love this girl but honestly she pisses me off. Why would she joke with cancer? I looked at the paper again. “Ngozi, I have Cancer ”   it read simply. I studied the hand writing. It was hers and, it wasn’t written in a haste. 

“Who gave you this?” I yelled at my sister. “Amaka’s mum…she said Amaka wanted this to get to you” she replied and that was all I needed. I wore something presentable and went out of the house through the back and jumped the half fence. I went out with no-one’s permission. I didn’t care actually. I raced all the way to Amaka’s home. 

“Your friend is in her room” her mom responded when I greeted without looking up. Now I was tensed. Breathing fast, I made it to her room and I met the calmest Amaka I have ever seen lying on her bed, her eyes closed and her lips moving. Praying. Hmmmmm well this God had better hear. She opened her eyes and the sober look in her eyes was replaced with flames. Yep her hyperactivity was back. 

“Errrh… I… ” I started but she interrupted “All hail the Micheal Scofield of our time! The one and only prison breaker” she laughed as she clapped. “Amaka really, you think I took this risk you hear all that?” I asked. “What do you want to hear, I’m dying in a month’s time please give me a treat” she laughed more and I got angry and started walking out. “Ngozi… ” she called out to me and I stopped in my tracks. “I really do have cancer” she said and I broke down in tears. 

“Please tell me it can be savaged…please Amaka please “…I pled. “It can’t, it’s leukemia and well the bad type…sadly” she answered and I went over to her bed and threw myself on her and the tears she boldly tried to hold back in slipped out drop by drop. “How long have you known? ” I asked. “For a while now” she answered looking away. “How long? ” I repeated. “Five years ago” she answered and before I could get out of my shock and gather a response she said “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted you to love me because you do not because I’m a charity case. I really wanted to tell you long ago but you loved me like I was part of you and I couldn’t bear to see the pain in your eyes… ” “why are you telling me now? ” I asked “because, they said I have just two months to live and I’m not sure I would survive ”

My world world crashed in a split second. I felt a weight in my heart. Amaka was all I had. All. “God why!!! ” I cried from the depths of my pain. “I asked him that question too five years ago. Then I didn’t even know him personally but I still felt I didn’t deserve a death sentence. I revolted.  I did stuffs I look back and I’m so not proud of now. But, one day, I ran into this woman who has gone through a great deal of tragedy. For two hours straight, she took me through the story of Job and Jesus’s suffering on the cross. Jesus was God’s own son yet he died in His prime and a very painful death and for the sins of others… You and I. Like what could be worse than sacrificing yourself for the redemption of people that would hate you and reject you. When she was done. I was in tears. That was the day I gave my life to Christ. If God saves me eventually Hallelujah! If he doesn’t oh Glory. I would dance on the streets of Gold. Besides I would finally get to see those handsome angels” she finished and pulled me into a long embrace as she whispered into my ears. “it is those he loves, he calls home early… You would see me again “

Exactly three months, two weeks, a day, 12 hours, 6 minutes, 30 seconds after,  Amaka passed away.

In memory of those we loved but lost… 

Dedicated to Uncle Law, Tola’s loss, Koya ‘s Abigail, Tochi ‘s mum, Femi’s dad and every single one that has lost someone dear 🤧.

Don’t forget to drop comments or share experiences. I love You.